Jack the Versatile Blogger

I didn’t win the Cosmo Blog Awards. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Who wants recognition from a glossy magazine with a worldwide audience and enormous circulation? Not me. I don’t need it because I’ve just received the Versatile Blogger Award for my main Perking the Pansies blog.

A big thank you to Kate at UKate for nominating me. I humbly accept. Yankee Kate writes about being clueless in Blighty, trying to get to grips with all things British. God, help her. We're a funny lot. Curiously, Kate only seems to live in places beginning with the letter T, moving from Texas to Toronto to Trowbridge (where next, Timbuktu?). Kate’s moved to the Sceptred Isle for love. Aah, bless! I congratulate her on her forthcoming nuptials.

The award comes with conditions. Recipients must formally accept the award with a post featuring the award’s image, reveal seven quirky things about themselves and pass the baton onto 5-15 other bloggers to do the same.

I’m really quirky because:

• I used to have long curly hair and looked like Marc Bolan. People always assumed it was a perm. It wasn’t.
• I got scarred for life in the Far East. I caught my thigh on the wheel of an out of control home-made go cart as it careered into a monsoon drain. See, I was a proper rough boy.
• I’ve never slept with a member of the fairer sex. I got as far as heavy petting with Sheila B (not the Sheila B) and realised the whole thing wasn’t for me. Thank you, Sheila. You changed my life.
• I have size five feet. You know what small feet mean don’t you? Small shoes.
• At seventeen, I had a 26 inch waist, wore luminous green loon pants and 5 inch platform shoes. The seventies really was the decade that fashion forgot.
• At 10, I was the junior champion diver of both Hounslow and Wandsworth in London (we moved in between) and came eighth in the Surrey Diving Championship. I used to be a contender until I discovered hormones and Playgirl.
• I am a serial monogamist. For the last 32 years I have been partner-less for only 18 months. Who says gay men can’t manage a second date? Either I’m a really good catch or just terrified of being alone (or both).
• A snotty sales assistant at Harrods tried to get my parents to kit me out in an oversized blazer for my snotty school because he thought they were too poor to buy me a new one each year. Bloody cheek!

Now to my victims. Drawn across three continents, the roll of dishonour is (in no particular order):

• Archers of Oçuklar
• Bitten by Spain
• Staying Sane in Spain
• Being Koy
• Petchary’s Blog
• In Search of a Life Less Ordinary
• Pul Biber
• Istanbul Stranger
• Ayak’s Turkish Delight
• Helen’s European Journey
• Slowly by Slowly
• Adventure’s in Expatland
• Turkey with Stuffins’ Blog
• Adventures in Ankara
• Lick the Fridge
• Talking Turkey

I know there are 16 blogs listed but, like a typical Libran, I couldn't make up my mind and they're all a good read. Anyway, I've been breaking the rules since dropping out of the womb singing I am what I am. I feel a camp little clip coming on.

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