From Expat to Repat

‘In the beginning there was work and work was God. After 35 years in the business, the endless predictability made me question the Faith.’

I wrote those words on the 8^th October 2010, the opening sentence of my debut post on a brand new blog about a couple of silly, cynical old queens who decided to jump the good ship Blighty and wade ashore to Asia Minor as gay semigreys (or is it semigays? No, that would be those who dip in and out). For a minority report, the blog’s done rather well. Now there’s a book. That’s done rather well too. Remarkable. Both crept up behind us without hint or herald. Maybe we should have listened to the early advice of our playground peers and kept our backs to the wall. Too late now.

We planned to stay in Turkey for a good few years, slowly descend into memory loss and erectile dysfunction disguised by a haze of alcohol, then paddle back to Blighty for the liver transplant and wait for the Grim Reaper’s call. Sadly, it’s not to be. I'd like to do author things and keep the pennies (and believe me I do mean pennies) rolling in. I can do neither in Turkey. There's another reason. An important reason. There are pressing family issues that cannot be ducked or delayed. If you have read the book you will understand:

"One day, our Turkish adventure might be curtailed. We were prepared." (Chapter 12)

That time has come.

Where will we be laying our hatboxes next? Well, there's a clue in the picture below. Hint - it's not in Soho.

Thank you Turkey for breaking the umbilical cord between wages and lifestyle. Thank you Turkey for giving me the time and space to write. Thank you Turkey for handing me a story of a plate. We hope one day to return. But, for now there’s no going back on going back.

The photo above is a picture of one of the great cathedrals of England but where is it? Answer correctly for the chance to win* a signed copy of Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey. Submit your answer by commenting here.

*The winner will be chosen at random by Liam from correct entries submitted before 4th March 2012. Comments containing entries to the competition will not be published until after this date so no cheating. The book will be shipped free to the winner to any address in the UK or Turkey. Delivery elsewhere (Mongolia, the dark side of the Moon, etc) may incur charges depending on the cost. Those who already know the answer are banned (we know who you are).

You might also like:

In the Beginning

Seismic Change

Postcards from the Ege

I’ve got a small number of signed copies of Perking the Pansies available for free shipping to Turkey. Amazon delivery charges are simply outrageous so this represents a bit of a bargain. This is a limited offer (until the next one) so roll up, roll up to get your mitts on the best expat book to come out of Asia Minor since Alexander the Great’s Postcards from the Ege. You never know. It might be worth something one day

Buy one here!

Perking the Pansies at Polari

As my regular pansy punters know, I’ve just done a gig for the Polari Literary Salon at London’s Royal Festival Hall. I was in the company of a fine cast of literati - Faarea Masud, Hugh Mulhall, Max Wallis, Catherine Hall and Tiffany Murray. The chorus line was made up of friends and regular pansy characters – Nancy, Murat, Clive, Ian, Matt and Philip. I calmed myself with a quick wine stiffener in the Green Room before I climbed the stage to perform against a sumptuous backdrop of The London Eye and Palace of Westminster. I’m not sure who was the more nervous, Liam or me. Despite the tummy terror, I didn’t fluff too many of my lines. I was well received by the enthusiastic audience and I’m eternally grateful to the wonderful and gifted Paul Burston who made it all possible.

Watch the video

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

If you live in the United Kingdom and would like to buy a signed copy of Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey, delivered free, please click here.

If you’d like a signed copy of the book but live outside the UK, please leave a comment on this post or contact me via my personal website.