A Perfect Holiday Read

Perking the Pansies has just regained the top spot on the Amazon UK bestseller list for Gay and Lesbian Travel and is number 6 on Turkey Travel Guides overall. More remarkably for a gay nobody writing from and about an obscure peninsula on the Aegean coast of Turkey, it’s number 4 on the list for Gay and Lesbian Biographies (beneath the fabulous Jeanette Winterson’s Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?). As Julian Clary would say, “I thank you”.

The book is now better value than ever at £9.99 ($16.00 across the pond) and, if you buy the book from the Book Depository it comes with free delivery to 120 countries and territories worldwide. A bargain, I say and a perfect summer accompaniment to a cool pool, G&T, ice and a slice.

 Check out buying options here. Not sure? Maybe the reviews will help you decide.

Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Just imagine the absurdity of two openly gay, recently ‘married’ middle aged, middle class men escaping the liberal sanctuary of anonymous London to relocate to a Muslim country.

Jack and Liam, fed up with kiss-my-arse bosses and nose-to-nipple commutes, quit their jobs and move to a small town in Turkey. Join the culture-curious gay couple on their bumpy rite of passage. Meet the oddballs, VOMITs, vetpats, emigreys, semigreys, debauched waiters and middle England miseries. Enter Jack’s irreverent world for a right royal dose of misery and joy, bigotry and enlightenment, betrayal and loyalty, friendship, love, earthquakes, birth, adoption and murder. You couldn't make it up.

My debut book is a bitter-sweet tragi-comedy that recalls our first year as a British expat gay couple in a Muslim land. For more information, news and reviews please check my website. If you like to join us in our journey as expats and soon to be repats, please visit my blog.

From Expat to Repat

‘In the beginning there was work and work was God. After 35 years in the business, the endless predictability made me question the Faith.’

I wrote those words on the 8^th October 2010, the opening sentence of my debut post on a brand new blog about a couple of silly, cynical old queens who decided to jump the good ship Blighty and wade ashore to Asia Minor as gay semigreys (or is it semigays? No, that would be those who dip in and out). For a minority report, the blog’s done rather well. Now there’s a book. That’s done rather well too. Remarkable. Both crept up behind us without hint or herald. Maybe we should have listened to the early advice of our playground peers and kept our backs to the wall. Too late now.

We planned to stay in Turkey for a good few years, slowly descend into memory loss and erectile dysfunction disguised by a haze of alcohol, then paddle back to Blighty for the liver transplant and wait for the Grim Reaper’s call. Sadly, it’s not to be. I'd like to do author things and keep the pennies (and believe me I do mean pennies) rolling in. I can do neither in Turkey. There's another reason. An important reason. There are pressing family issues that cannot be ducked or delayed. If you have read the book you will understand:

"One day, our Turkish adventure might be curtailed. We were prepared." (Chapter 12)

That time has come.

Where will we be laying our hatboxes next? Well, there's a clue in the picture below. Hint - it's not in Soho.

Thank you Turkey for breaking the umbilical cord between wages and lifestyle. Thank you Turkey for giving me the time and space to write. Thank you Turkey for handing me a story of a plate. We hope one day to return. But, for now there’s no going back on going back.

The photo above is a picture of one of the great cathedrals of England but where is it? Answer correctly for the chance to win* a signed copy of Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey. Submit your answer by commenting here.

*The winner will be chosen at random by Liam from correct entries submitted before 4th March 2012. Comments containing entries to the competition will not be published until after this date so no cheating. The book will be shipped free to the winner to any address in the UK or Turkey. Delivery elsewhere (Mongolia, the dark side of the Moon, etc) may incur charges depending on the cost. Those who already know the answer are banned (we know who you are).

You might also like:

In the Beginning

Seismic Change

Postcards from the Ege

I’ve got a small number of signed copies of Perking the Pansies available for free shipping to Turkey. Amazon delivery charges are simply outrageous so this represents a bit of a bargain. This is a limited offer (until the next one) so roll up, roll up to get your mitts on the best expat book to come out of Asia Minor since Alexander the Great’s Postcards from the Ege. You never know. It might be worth something one day

Buy one here!

Perking the Pansies at Polari

As my regular pansy punters know, I’ve just done a gig for the Polari Literary Salon at London’s Royal Festival Hall. I was in the company of a fine cast of literati - Faarea Masud, Hugh Mulhall, Max Wallis, Catherine Hall and Tiffany Murray. The chorus line was made up of friends and regular pansy characters – Nancy, Murat, Clive, Ian, Matt and Philip. I calmed myself with a quick wine stiffener in the Green Room before I climbed the stage to perform against a sumptuous backdrop of The London Eye and Palace of Westminster. I’m not sure who was the more nervous, Liam or me. Despite the tummy terror, I didn’t fluff too many of my lines. I was well received by the enthusiastic audience and I’m eternally grateful to the wonderful and gifted Paul Burston who made it all possible.

Watch the video

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

If you live in the United Kingdom and would like to buy a signed copy of Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey, delivered free, please click here.

If you’d like a signed copy of the book but live outside the UK, please leave a comment on this post or contact me via my personal website.

Perking the Pansies Book Trailer

Jack Scott's World Book Tour

It’s done and dusted. My World Book Tour across four continents has finally come to an end. The stage lights have dimmed and the sequins have been packed away for another day. I’m knackered even though I’ve not shifted from the sofa. Was it a sell out? No idea. Have I sold copies of the book? Certainly. Please extend a massive hand to the talented and generous supporting cast, stars in their own right who took a back seat and let me take centre stage to strut my stuff.

Fittingly, the tour kicked off in my foster land with Soldier, Solder at a place in the country with rustic old sapper Archers of Okçular.

Next stop was a flying visit to the motherland for our London gig at cosmopolitan Aussie Gidday from the UK with Gidday from Turkay.

The third show, AussieBum was presented Down Under at A Life Less Ordinary with the far from ordinary Russell.

A long virtual night flight took me across the Pacific to the Eureka State - California – for Perking Across the Pond on Lick the Fridge courtesy of gifted wordsmith and family man, Jared.

My second Californian date was a camp inquisition on the pink sofa with the absolutely fabulous Impossibly Glamorous.

No time to dawdle. It was back on the virtual trail to Old Constantinople for a gig on the sharp and witty Istanbul Stranger telling my Yankee Tales, continuing the American theme.

Daft planning took my back Stateside to Provincetown in New England to be entertained by M’lady and the puppets review Perking the Pansies at cross-cultural Slowly-by-Slowly, no strings attached.

I flew the virtual transatlantic red eye for the Continental European leg of my tour. First stop, a chat of the This Morning sofa with my inspirational publisher, Jo Parfitt in the Low Countries.

Next up a trek across the Pyrenees to a campsite somewhere in southern Spain for my Trailer Trash show with the impossibly healthy Helen from Helen’s European Journey.

This was followed by another Dutch gig at Adventures in Expatland with the blogger with the big heart. She entertained us with Pansies Oh So Successfully Perked.

Safe on home soil saw me facing the questions again from the lovely Natalie at the top notch Turkish Travel Blog.

Last and certainly not least, my final interrogation was by Roving Jay on the Bodrum Peninsular Travel Guide. Jay pins me down with questions about Bodrum.

Thank you to one and all, for letting me loose on your blogs, for the Facebook posts and likes, stumbles, tweets, retweets and mentions. Your support is heart-warming. Thank you also to those who followed me around my virtual world. Now the fun really starts...

By the way, would you like to buy my book?

Perking the Pansies eBook

You don’t need a Kindle to buy and download the Perking the Pansies ebook. All you need is a Kindle Reading App for your iPhone, PC, iPad or Android device. Download it for free from Amazon.

Break a Leg

I'll be talking about my debut book, Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey at the Polari Literary Salon at London’s Royal Festival Hall on the 6th February 2012. Polari is the brainchild of Paul Burston, award winning author, Gay and Lesbian Editor of Time Out London and one of Britain’s leading commentators on gay life. Paul created the forum to showcase new LGBT writers. Since its launch in 2007, Polari has established an enviable reputation as a centre of excellence for promoting new talent.

For further details about the event check Time Out online. To buy tickets check out the Southbank Website.

Amazon Bestseller

Liam got very excited this morning (not that kind of excited – get your mind out of the gutter). He woke me with a cuppa and glad tidings from Amazon UK. Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey has hit the bestsellers’ lists.

• Top Ten – Gay and Lesbian Biographies (in the company of Jeanette Winterson and John Barrowman),
• Top Ten – Turkey Travel Guides (alongside the Rough Guide, Lonely Planet and Orhan Pamuk),

AND

• Number One for Gay and Lesbian Travel.

I’m rather pleased.

Have It Your Way

Are you a thoroughly modern Millie and would like to download Perking the Pansies to your fancy Kindle thingy bobby? Perhaps you’re opposed to Amazon taking over the world? (Of course, I couldn’t possibly comment.) Or maybe you’re a bit of a traditionalist who likes to browse the shelves and thumb through the latest releases? Well, you can do all these things. Perking the Pansies is available to download to Kindle, to purchase online at WH Smiths and Waterstones (and many other online stores), and to order at any good bookshop near you. Go on, you know you want to.

Alternatively you could buy the paperback or Kindle edition through my website and I'll earn an extra few pence. No pressure.

Houston, We Have Lift-off

An enormous thank you to On the Ege and Impossibly Glamorous for kick-starting the publicity campaign for Perking the Pansies, Jack and Liam move to Turkey. This was done without any prompting from me. I'm really touched. Find out what other reviewers have said about the book here. And that's not all. The Displaced Nation have listed the book on their Best of 2011 Expat Books and it's on the BlogExpat Christmas list.

On the day Perking the Pansies hit the presses, I found out that Joe Storey-Scott, the Book & Film Buyer for Millivres Prowler Group, contacted my publisher, Jo Parfitt. Prowler is Blighty’s premiere gay lifestyle chain with outlets in Birmingham, Brighton and a London flagship store in Brewer Street, Soho. Joe has agreed to stock the book. Wow. Thank you, Joe. The next day the book entered Amazon’s top ten of forthcoming biographies. It’s above the paperback release of Margaret Thatcher, The Downing Street Years. Blimey.

Perking the Pansies, Unwrapped

The book cover for Perking the Pansies is done. As threatened, it’s colourful with a lot of pansies and a delicious hint of Turkey. I think it’ll catch the eye on the book shelf. Let’s face it, it'll probably glow in the dark. A huge thank you to award-winning author, Paul Burston, who has given such a glowing review. Paul wrote:

"An entertaining story, told with wit and insight." Paul Burston, author, The Gay Divorcee

I'm really looking forward to presenting the book at the Polari Literary Salon in London early next year. Thank you also to the other reviewers who have given the book the thumbs up. I'm thrilled. You can read them here.

Perking the Pansies available now to pre-order on Amazon.co.uk. Order today and the book will be delivered to you soon after it’s published on 15th December 2011. It’ll be available to order on Amazon.com very soon.

Thank you to all those who voted and commented (good and critical) on my post, What’s in a Name? After much straw-polling, soul searching and deliberation, my publisher, Jo Parfitt, had an overnight epiphany. The next day, she emailed me with unconcealed excitement.

"Perking the Pansies - Jack and Liam move to Turkey"

Just like that, a book title was born. Inspired.

You might also like:

Cover Story

Polari Literary Salon

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. Many will remember when AIDS raised its deadly head in the early Eighties. It was the dark ages of ignorance and astonishing bigotry. The tabloids pandered to the pond life with talk of a gay plague, the British Government terrified old ladies with images of tomb stones and people really did think you could catch it from a coffee cup. It took Princess Diana (among many others) and a seismic shift in social attitudes to make a difference. I was one of the lucky ones. I survived when many around me were dropping like flies.

These days we live in more enlightened times. Or do we? It depresses me that many young gay men in Britain and elsewhere think HIV is an ‘old man’s’ disease and even if they do become infected they think a pill a day will keep the doctor away. It’s true that in the West people generally live with HIV rather than die from it. But, AIDS isn’t hypertension or high cholesterol. Just like flu, HIV is a virus that mutates. The drugs that work today may not work tomorrow. Still, we should count our blessings. AIDS is still devastating many developing countries, particularly in Sub-Saharan Africa where access to expensive combination therapy is pie in the sky. AIDS affects the most sexually active and the most sexually active are also the most economically active. It’s a double whammy, more destructive than war or famine.

The rate of HIV infection in Turkey is mercifully low (according to official statistics) but with a long incubation period who really knows? Education is the key to prevention but meaningful sex education is thin on the ground here. Last year the Turkish Daily News published an article on the subject. It seems people don’t like to talk about the issue. It goes against the cultural grain. The common condom is not so common because nobody has extra-marital sex and adultery never happens. Head and sand spring to mind. And what of the legion of Shirley Valentines washed up on our shores every summer who fall for the considerable charms of the hunky waiter with the come to bed eyes? Listen up ladies, slip the French letters into your sequined clutch bag and get your man to cover up.

You might also like:

What's Your Poison?
Tick Tock

Two Nations Divided by a Common Language

I recently received the first edits back for the book. I downloaded the file with nervous anticipation, expecting it to be mauled with angry red lines and a must do better report at the end. I was pleasantly surprised to find the text relatively intact. My editor is a talented young man from across the pond called Kilian Kröll. Kilian’s day job is treading the boards as an eminent life coach. He’s also a superb writer and is moonlighting as editor at the request of my publisher, Jo Parfitt. Jo gave him the specific remit to check the text for British idioms and cultural references that might fly over the heads of our Yankee cousins. Kilian is well-qualified for the job and is doing sterling work – meticulous and professional. His interventions have been smart, literate and illuminating. Striking the right balance between keeping the essentially British feel of Perking the Pansies and appealing to the greatest possible audience is going to be tough. Cor blimey, mate.

You might also like:
Perking the Pansies
Jack Scott

Turkey, a Land for All Seasons

The parade of storms that recently rolled into town was a reminder (if one was needed) that Turkey is a land that enjoys proper, melodramatic seasons. Here on the Aegean coast we spend six months too hot or too cold and six months just about right. My partner, Liam, and I first arrived in Turkey to find our new foster home bathed in a glorious Indian summer and we were lulled us into a false sense of meteorological security. Within a month, the pitiless winter was upon us and we were woefully unprepared. Liam and I were mugged by a posse of violent electric storms that rolled across the horizon, a savage spectacle that crashed ashore and trapped us inside for days at a time.

Turkish winters mean business. Prodigious pulses of horizontal rain cluster-bomb every crack and cranny. Water sneaks through every window frame and beneath every threshold. Towels are requisitioned and old cushions commandeered to ebb the relentless biblical flow. Staying warm is a challenge. Think pre-central heating childhood days when the bed was too cold to get into at night and too warm to get out of in the morning. We sprint to the loo for a morning pee, wear sexless layers and revert to copulating under cover. They don’t mention that in the guide books.

We survive the onslaught and the short sharp winter gradually gives way to a wonderful warm renaissance. Spring in Turkey is a magical time of the year, nature-wise. The hills seem to blossom overnight with a riot of flamboyant and exotic flora blanketing the usually arid scrub. We awake from our enforced hibernation, dust down our flip flops and freshen our speedos. Smiles get broader as trousers get shorter. It’s a brief respite before the unforgiving sun burns the landscape back to its usual two-tone hue of dull green and ochre. As the mercury marches inevitably upwards, summer slaps us about the face like a merciless sweaty flannel. By August, varnish peels off the window sills, the upper floor of our house becomes a fan assisted oven and sofas radiate heat like embers from a dying grate. We move slowly, a pair of camp vampires only venturing out between the hours of sunset and dawn. This too passes and falling temperatures herald our favourite time of the year. At last, the wilting wilts and we retake possession of our town to watch the hordes of tourists jump aboard the last flight home. In autumn, Bodrum is in an easy, relaxed mood. Hassle from the press gangs reduces to bearable levels and itinerant workers join the long caravans travelling to their winter pastures back east. Beware, though. Nothing lasts. Winter waits menacingly just out to sea and the cycle begins again.

You might also like:
The Windy City
Tick Tock

Stand Up and Be Counted

I'd like to share a touching video that brought a small tear to my eye, something which is quite hard to do in this cynical old goat these days. I think this should be shown in all schools. Alas, Hell will probably freeze over before this ever happens in Turkey.

More on Perking the Pansies

Publish and Be Damned

It’s done and dusted. We’ve done our best to spice up the speech, vacuum the grammar and pep up the punctuation. We can do no more. Thank you to Liam. We didn’t row too much about the pace, pathos and plot. Thank you to Jessica who did a marvellous job of proof-reading. Thank you to the emigreys who handed me a story on a plate (or was it a poisoned chalice?). Perking the Pansies and Surviving the Expats in Turkey has gone off to the publisher by carrier pigeon to be savaged by the editor. Booker prize here I come. As if.

You might also like:

Perking the Pansies on Facebook
Jack Scott

Polari Literary Review

I’m really excited to announce that Paul Burston, award winning author, LGBT Editor of Time Out London and one of Blighty’s leading commentators on LGBT life, has invited me to speak at the Polari Literary Salon in February. Paul created Polari to showcase new gay and lesbian writers. Since its launch in 2007, Polari has established an enviable reputation as a centre of excellence for promoting new talent. I’ll be reading passages from my book, Perking the Pansies and Surviving the Expats in Turkey and taking questions. I’m completely terrified. Paul assures me it's a warm and easy crowd. I will have to dig deep into my past to resurrect the orator in me. I'll be trolling down to Soho to ask the literati omis, palones and palone-omis to vada my bona book*. I hope this pansy will still be perking by the end of it. What shall I wear?

*For a quick lesson in Polari slang check out Trolling on the Net.

You might also like:

Publish and Be Damned
The Dorothy Dollar and Pink Pound